Couple at the altar

5 steps to becoming marriage material

WARNING: This might get you an awesome spouse.

Here are five steps to becoming marriage material.

1. Know who you are

Knowing who you are is key. The last thing you want to do is go into a marriage thinking it will fix your identity problems. Although being a husband or wife will definitely play a role in who you are as an individual, you need to realise that you must first have a personal foundation to build upon. Begin evaluating who you are, what you do, and exactly what your purpose is. Knowing your purpose is a wonderful start to becoming grounded in personal identity, and it will take you a step forward towards becoming an excellent catch. Read 2 Corinthians 6:18

2. Say goodbye to Mum & Dad (Directed more towards the men)

Recent studies show that the average person doesn’t move out of their parents house until they are 24-26 years old. This doesn’t mean that these people aren’t mature or responsible, but I can tell you that the experience of living on your own is something that cannot be taught while living with one’s parents. Moving out on your own will play a big part in taking ownership of yourself. The responsibilities you encounter in life will not only help you in your personal growth, but they will also help prepare you for a future with someone. Say goodbye to mummy and daddy, jump into the real world, and start building your responsibilities from the ground up. Respect your future spouse enough to grow in maturity and knowledge. Family hardships and medical reasons are obvious exceptions to this step. Read 1 Timothy 5:8

3. Learn how to manage

Understanding how to manage your time, money and energy will not only help you as an individual, but could also help you avoid potential arguments on these topics in the near future. Having management skills will not only show people you are diligent, but that you also put time and effort into the things you care about. Most married couples will tell you that money is the biggest topic of discussion when it comes to arguments. And although these arguments can’t always be avoided, going into a marriage or relationship with management skills will always be a plus on someone’s radar. Read Proverbs 21:5

4. Admit when you are wrong

This is one of my biggest pet-peeves, and also one of my biggest flaws. Although I still struggle with admitting when I am wrong, the struggle is nothing compared to how I once was. Pride can be something that can ruin a friendship or relationship before it even begins. And although not everyone is perfect, nobody wants to be with someone who thinks that they are. The reality of life is that you are going to be wrong sometimes! Even though sometimes it’s really annoying to admit it, confessing your mistakes will show a sense of humility to those around you. Drop the pride. Nobody wants to marry an arrogant know-it-all. Read Proverbs 11:2

5. Honour and respect

I’m positive there are thousands of books on the shelves that unpack this topic on a much deeper level than I can, but the reality of its core is pretty simple. You will need to learn how to honour and respect those around you if you are looking to be taken seriously. It’s tough to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t respect you, and it’s even tougher to love somebody who doesn’t honour you. Take time to learn the disciplines of love and respect. Any guy or girl who is serious about getting married will always be on the lookout for someone who is honourable and respectful. Read 1 Peter 2:17

What else would you recommend? Leave a comment below.

This article was originally published on on 23 October 2013.

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