Author Archives: Hannah Grace

Rather than feel lonely at Christmas, remember that the festive period has a lot of dating potential. Maybe you’ll find that ‘love actually IS all around’! It’s the perfect time to get out and meet people (especially if you’re intent on getting a kiss for midnight on New Year’s Eve). With all the build up to the season, there’s a plethora of special Christmas date ideas to keep you entertained.

The season leading up to Christmas is an exciting time of the year. Not only do we celebrate the birth of Jesus but it’s a great time for all kinds of treats – festive markets, hot chocolate and marshmallows, gingerbread, seeing family, twinkly lights and pantomimes. Despite cold weather in some parts of the world, it’s a heart-warming time of the year, and it’s very worthwhile looking for ways to make the most of Christmas and feel connected with others, whether you’re single, dating or in a relationship.

After the first meet ups with someone new have gone well you might start thinking about introducing your date to friends – or even start double or group dating. It can be rather daunting for everyone involved! You both want to make a good impression on your friends and get the valued ‘seal of approval’ all round. I gave my now-husband a baptism of fire after we got together – the cast of the musical tour I was performing in desperately wanted to meet him and surrounded him at stage door very early on in our relationship. For my introverted husband this was completely out of his comfort zone, but he knew how much it meant to me. He totally embraced the occasion and came through with flying colours! Meeting the people who matter to you won’t always be so intense – thankfully! – but how can you make introducing your partner to friends or going on double dates as fun and relaxing as possible?

One of my biggest fears when I was dating was silence. Awkward silence, running out of conversation, and the panic that then ensued filled me with such dread. I would combat it by either chatting a load of ‘twaddle’ to fill the silence, or panic so much that I could think of nothing to say. Chances are my verbal explosions or my clamming up put off a few people. I knew that the right one would be someone I wouldn’t run out of conversation with. It turned out to be true – five years later … we’re still conversing well! So what did I learn about how to have good conversations that brought out the best in me and the person I was meeting?

When you first start dating someone, they might seem almost perfect. In the first flush of love, that person appears to be exactly what you were looking for and it’s hard to imagine anything about them annoying you. Then you start to notice… maybe they chew loudly, pick their teeth after a meal, or spend hours scrolling on their phone. Perhaps these habits are on your list of non-negotiables when searching for love – or are suddenly added to the list! Or it might be that some annoying habits pop up early on and an otherwise interesting person is ruled out completely before you really get to know them. That can be part of a very natural selection process – one person’s annoyance is another person’s lovable quirk – but it could also damage a promising connection. So, what should you do?

Dating is great when you both know where you’re at and what you ‘are’. Boundaries can be set, and you know and agree where you’re headed. Although some people may not like the idea of labels or awkward conversations about if or when to commit, it does help to set in black and white the status of your relationship, which then manages expectations. But the period before getting to that point can sometimes be muddy. It’s similar to going on a long trip – you’ll check the road map to get an idea of the journey, but diversions and traffic jams can cause some unexpected disruptions.

When you’re both on the same wavelength and united in where a relationship is headed, it’s easier to plan the journey; you may both know you want to get married (maybe to each other!), you’re unified in what you’re after, so let’s make it ‘official’. But how do you reach the point where you can talk about it or be headed in the same direction? How do you know when to move to the next stage? How do you know when to commit?

Online dating has challenges as well as blessings, but what happens when you have unrequited feelings, when you like someone who doesn’t like you back? You find someone online who seems to be perfect, you build up excitement, you meet said person and they seem even better than hoped for, but then it’s like having a relationship with a brick wall. It can feel intense! Nancy Meyers put it well in romcom ‘The Holiday’: “And then, there’s another kind of love: the cruelest kind. The one that almost kills its victims. It’s called unrequited love. Of that I am an expert.” How can you move on from this?

Love has many forms in the Bible. We know of ‘Agape’, (God’s divine love), ‘Philia’ (brotherly love), and ‘Eros’ (erotic love), for example. 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 is probably the most popular scripture reading at weddings but its instructions can be used for all of these types of love, and more. You can also turn to these verses when you are looking for a romantic relationship and apply them to dating too.