Happiness

I watched a rom-com on Netflix recently. It was about a girl who initially was sceptical about romantic relationships, even though deep down she longed for one herself. The truth was that she didn’t think anyone would ever love her for who she was. In the end however, she realised that what she really needed to make her happy was to love herself.

1 in 4 people will experience mental illness each year and it is thought this number is rising. Someone recovery or with a history of mental illness needs to think carefully about when the right time is to start looking for a partner and dating. I had been ill for a long time and I had been working hard on recovery when I thought I’d got to the point, I was not quite fully recovered but my illness did not define me anymore. I was happy being single but I wanted to investigate the world of dating to see if “the one” was out there for me.

We can’t always control circumstances and we certainly can’t control the actions of others. But there’s much we can do from our own point of view, to create a more serene path. Here are some tips for getting and giving the most on your dating journey, without it feeling like an emotional rollercoaster. Get some […]

A few weeks ago I received this email in response to a post I’d written.

I came across your blog post titled ‘The Power of Your Authenticity’ and I was really blessed by it. I need your advice: I recently met a lady and she’s not opening up to me. I understand she wants to take things slow and build a good friendship with me first but it’s really difficult to get through to her. How can I get her to share and be more open about her thoughts with me?

It might not be something that jumps to mind when you’re dating. But have you considered your sense of self-esteem and self-worth? We’re much more likely to focus on looking good, having great chat, thinking of super date ideas and being considerate to others when on the dating journey. Yet how we perceive and value ourselves is very important – and all too often overlooked. Let’s take a look at the reasons it matters and how your personal positivity can improve your dating experience.

‘I live with a chronic illness that isn’t obvious to others but can be disabling,’ said the email. ‘I’ve joined a Christian dating website but I can’t decide whether to mention my condition in my profile. I know it could put people off, but I also don’t want anyone to feel deceived. What do you think, HopefulGirl?’

If you don’t have authenticity you don’t have relationship. You’re not in a real relationship with someone if you’re not honest, open and vulnerable; because they’re not in relationship with you – they’re just in relationship with a shallow projection of you.

We’ve all got at least one friend who, when they’re single, is keen to meet up, go out and spend time together. But as soon as they start dating someone, they suddenly drop all their pals like a basket of hot potatoes. Regular get-togethers are neglected, phone calls go unreturned, you hardly ever see their face at church – it’s like they’ve been abducted by aliens. Until, that is, their relationship breaks up or starts going south. Then, suddenly, they’re back wanting to hang out – until the next time they meet someone. Do you have a friend like that? Or – let’s be honest – are you that friend?