The super-skills you didn’t realise you have as a single
The many life skills discovered on the journey to finding a partner are often overlooked and underrated. Practically, spiritually and emotionally, flying solo can be extremely fruitful: necessity causes you to accomplish things on your own and develop abilities you never imagined.
Of course, for those who are recently single, it can be much tougher to adapt to a new lifestyle of going it along, than it is to grow into it through the formative adult years.
While you might really wish you didn’t have to walk this path in the first place, jumping hurdles can be incredibly empowering and enlightening. But it’s important to recognise, and perhaps even celebrate the areas in which you have, or are developing, single person’s super-skills.
Your boiler loses pressure… You receive a wildly inaccurate phone bill… You have to move house…
Life brings a constant stream of problems to solve and without the support of a spousal collaborator; the yoke can feel pretty heavy.
Think of it like being a really hands-on Project Manager. Years of having to deal with these kinds of things myself, has furnished me with a good deal of DIY know-how and a wide knowledge of all things domestic and financial – and when I do manage to fix or sort something I didn’t think I could, I feel like a superhero!
If a single person wants to try something new or even just go out for the night, it’s either a case of going it alone, or seeking out a friend who’ll come along. Continually turning up to events, parties, classes and church is arguably a far more daunting prospect when you don’t have a partner to go with. But if you’d rather not spend endless nights sitting at home, it’s one that must be faced over and over. The good news is that this makes us brave and socially adept. Not only is that of personal benefit when dating, the resulting confidence and ability to network, can also have a positive impact in terms of career development.
Dating can bring disappointment. Break-ups are upsetting. Waiting for “the one” requires serious patience. The journey requires perseverance, which brings character and hope; but also emotional strength and a heightened sense of empathy. These serve as great preparation for married life and the enrichment of relationships. So your present troubles are actually a valuable investment in your future.
Possibly the best element of singleness is the time and energy you have available to devote to close friendships. Take advantage of and enjoy this: have fun, laugh, go deep, and create memories. Being a good friend is a truly beautiful thing and having meaningful friendships are among the most precious gifts we can receive.
Of course, this isn’t an exhaustive list, so take some time to evaluate the super-skills you have or are currently growing in, and celebrate them.
There’s a joke that Batman, Superman, Spiderman and all the other superheroes were single. But of course, the only real superhero who ever lived was single…