I used to date in a fantasy land – a world of pink clouds, ideal partners and perfect relationships, until, after many years of singleness and dating disasters, I came back down to earth with a bump and learned to date from a grounded, mature place. Let me break this down for you, and help you avoid making the same mistakes.

“It was March 2020 and the Australian Government had just announced strict physical distancing measures in response to the spread of COVID-19. Peter was quite active on the Sydney dating scene, having been on many dates throughout the previous spring and summer, predominantly through dating apps Christian Connection and Hinge. However, he was yet to find a compatible partner. He was motivated and ready…

We all know that it is important to be grateful and as Christians, showing gratitude should be a way of life. But what happens when you’re struggling to find things to be grateful for? Perhaps you’ve been praying for a husband or wife and it seems like God doesn’t hear you? Or you’ve tried dating and it’s just not worked out? How can you develop gratitude about singleness in your life?

I was so looking forward to my date that evening. Over the past few weeks we had spent some enjoyable times together. We shared a faith and had bonded over our separate experiences of going through unwanted divorces. People were starting to treat us as ‘a couple’. But the minute I saw his face that evening I knew he was going to split up with me, and he did. It had been a shortish relationship yet the disappointment I felt was real. But I learned you can do yourself a massive favour at this point by accepting that disappointments are a natural part of life, including your date-life, and then turn them into something that actually helps you. Here’s what might help the process of dating after disappointment.

We probably all grew up with an expectation of what the perfect relationship would look like. Romantic movies, adverts on television, books and our own imaginations help to create the idea of the ideal partner and the model relationship. Couples that look like they have it so ‘together’. This can be heightened when single. It is hard when you first start dating someone and reality kicks in! You are excited, the butterflies start fluttering, you start thinking about the future and can be desperate to impress. But not every moment will be wonderful and we need to think about expectation vs reality. Even in small ways, expectations are not met, and hard conversations can be needed to make a successful, happy relationship. How can you balance your expectations and not let yourself be disappointed by reality?

If one of your goals for this year was to find love but you’ve already lost your momentum, misplaced your mojo or your self-esteem has taken a hit, I’m here to tell you that you have plenty of time and that you can get both your confidence and your enthusiasm back. If you’re in a slow patch right now or if you’ve grown disillusioned with dating, some simple steps may help you to refocus, feel better about yourself and get back on track to stay motivated to date.

Joining Christian Connection might just be life-changing! That’s the testimony of all the couples who get in touch to share their #MetOnCC love stories as an encouragement to others. From couples who lived far apart whose paths would never have crossed, to those who discovered they shared mutual friends, each story is unique – with some key things in common! Behind each joyful wedding and engagement photo is that first nervous wave and message, the uncertain first date, and the back and forth of growing together after meeting online, made special by the two people at the heart of it.

We like to think of Valentine’s day as a perfect excuse to spread some love, both for ourselves and others. It’s a time when many people are thinking about romance and dating – it can be hard to avoid! – so it’s a really good opportunity if you want to meet someone. You don’t need to take it all seriously, but instead think of Valentine’s Day as something fun if you want to use the time to make new connections. Here are five ways to make the most of Valentine’s Day – either on it for before – on Christian Connection.