Christmas

Christmas can be a hard time if you’re single. It’s the end of the year and perhaps you were hoping that this Christmas would be the one that you spent with that special someone, or that you’d be introducing them to your family. There’s something about smiling families in TV adverts and couples in matching pyjamas that can make being single feel miserable, but I truly believe you can have joy at Christmas, regardless of your relationship or marital status.

Winter was a time when I felt my singleness profoundly. It seemed the romance of Christmas was everywhere, with romantic Christmas movies, dates to Christmas markets and ice rinks, cosy hot chocolates and mistletoe – and I wasn’t included. Once the romance of Christmas was over, there was the pressure of New Year. All the resolutions, the desire to find a partner that very year, the realisation that another year would begin without a kiss at midnight. One question came up repeatedly: How could I find contentment in singleness during the festive season?

As I contemplate the season of Advent, I’m aware more than ever of the importance of preparing ourselves for the good that is coming into our lives. Advent is a season of preparation ahead of the celebration of Christ’s birth and the day of His return – an expectant time, a hopeful time and a time to get ready for the love, joy and peace that is on its way. How can you prepare yourself for the love, joy and peace that’s coming your way?

I’m the sort of person who gets excited about Christmas far too early. Come November I’m cranking out the Michael Bublé, watching every cheesy Christmas movie imaginable and taking the long way home to enjoy the lights across my city. Only this year, for the first time, I’m dreading it. I don’t know whether it’s the age I turned this summer, the fact that I don’t have a permanent home at the moment or the number of friends who have recently got engaged or had babies. This year, I’d happily fast forward straight to January. I really don’t want to do another Christmas on my own. But Christmas is coming, like it or not, and I can’t hibernate for two months. So how can we choose to enjoy Christmas as a single person, when we’re really not feeling it?

The season leading up to Christmas is an exciting time of the year. Not only do we celebrate the birth of Jesus but it’s a great time for all kinds of treats – festive markets, hot chocolate and marshmallows, gingerbread, seeing family, twinkly lights and pantomimes. Despite cold weather in some parts of the world, it’s a heart-warming time of the year, and it’s very worthwhile looking for ways to make the most of Christmas and feel connected with others, whether you’re single, dating or in a relationship.

It’s that time of year again – a time of TV adverts portraying happy families, couples and children gathered around tables of food or brightly lit Christmas trees surrounded by gifts; a time of parties and gatherings and people making plans. It’s a time of year that can be tough if we’re single, triggering and isolating – a season that sometimes accentuates our aloneness and reminds us of the things we don’t yet have. Unless, that is, we can hold onto hope. Unless we can expect for a brighter future. This is the message of Advent – a time of preparation, preparing for a celebration, preparing for Christ’s arrival, for the light to come and break through the darkness.

As we wave goodbye to 2020 and enter 2021, what lies ahead? While there’s lots going on in the world, one thing doesn’t change – there’s still a strong desire to connect with others. Over the 20 years we’ve been helping single Christians meet, we’ve seen that January is one of the best times of the year to embrace online dating. More people are joining, sending waves, likes and messages in January than at any other time. So, if you’re new to online dating, or are returning after a break, welcome! Now is the perfect time to get started. Here are just some of the things we’ve learned about Christian dating to help you connect successfully.

There’s a saying that ‘hindsight is 20/20’ but this year has really shaken all our expectations. No-one could have known this time last year what we’d experience during 2020. As we go through a Christmas unlike any other, it’s helpful to look back and see what lessons about love, life and connection we can take into 2021.