Dating & Relationships

Three years ago, a friend died in her early fifties from cancer. It was sudden and a shock to us all, a shock that prompted many of us to re-evaluate our lives. We vowed to focus on the important things – our hopes, dreams and deepest longings – and to stop sweating the small stuff. I said I wanted to get a dog, something I’d been talking about for a decade or more. Another mutual friend said she wanted to travel the world. I met this same friend a few days ago and we noted that, three years on, I still hadn’t got a dog, although I’d begun my search in earnest, and she hadn’t travelled the world (or found a way to do so once the pandemic eases). It happens, doesn’t it?

Over the 20 years that we’ve been helping single Christians meet, we’ve seen what can help make meaningful connections. Whether you’re just starting out with online dating or wanting to refresh your dating efforts, here’s what we’ve learned about messaging that lead to dates, relationships and lasting connections.

When you’re talking to someone online it can sometimes be hard to tell if they might ‘like you’ like you or if they’re just being polite. It’s good to know if someone is interested in you romantically, so that you don’t waste your time or pin your hopes on something that isn’t leading anywhere. Here are 8 ways to know if someone likes you online.

Online dating can sometimes seem like a success just for other people. Couples who’ve met on Christian Connection know otherwise! For some, it was a case of on-and-off membership until the perfect connection happened. For others, that final search, wave or message before closing their account led to a life-changing relationship. Though some couples meet quickly and without any bumps on their road to the altar, others tell a different tale. Learning the stories behind the smiling faces and wedding photos can be both an encouragement and a guide for CC members. Timing matters, but so does not giving up!

It took me years to understand that I had to heal in order to feel. For decades, I ran from my feelings. I ate on them, drank on them and over-worked to avoid them – until I realised that my disconnection from my feelings was sabotaging my relationships. It seems obvious now but for a long time, I was unaware of the importance of feeling my feelings. If I could just keep moving – running or working or travelling or falling in and out of relationships – then they wouldn’t catch up with me. I wouldn’t have to feel the grief, loss and pain that was stored deep inside and that I’d been avoiding since I was a child. I wonder if you have done this, and if you do it now?

Having a fulfilling social and dating life has been a bit challenging lately, hasn’t it? If you are anything like me you might be feeling slightly out of practice when it comes to interacting with new people. This is where being part of the online community gives you a great advantage. When face-to-face dates might not be possible or difficult to arrange, your screen means you can still meet new faces and chat, whether it’s via messaging, emails, phone calls, or video dates. Or maybe you’re able to meet in person, over a coffee or on a walk, and want to know how to develop your connection. Here are a few suggestions for early conversations with someone new.

Christian Connection has spent over twenty years helping single Christians meet, and we’ve seen a lot of Valentine’s Days come and go in that time! It’s always a busy time on the site and app, with lots of new members joining, new connections happening and now online meetups and events too. There’s no right way to feel about Valentine’s Day but if you want to make it memorable, there are lots of CC members who feel the same. If you want to close your eyes until it’s passed for another year, we understand! Here are six ways to get through February 14th.

It’s a saying as old as Shakespeare that the path of love doesn’t run smooth, and when it comes to online dating that can certainly seem true! No two couples who meet on Christian Connection have the same story. While some clicked straight away, many didn’t – and there’s lots to learn from their stories. What advice do those who found that meeting the person they went on to marry took time, stops and starts, and even a missed connection or two, have for daters?