Bored man

5 signs that they’re just not that into you

Online dating can be a great way of meeting new people, especially if your lifestyle limits opportunities. I remember how excited I was the first time I joined an online dating site. With all the pool of available men, I thought that perhaps it would be only a short time before I was in the early stage of a new romance!

However, as this was all new to me, I did not know how to recognise the ones that were interested but not that into me and as a result, I wasted too much time waiting to see what would happen. As I want you to be successful in your search and focus your time and energy on those that are into you, here are 7 ways to recognise those that show some interest but might not be that into you.

Too Busy

The busy type may respond with short messages and promises to write later, but never does. If they do get around to emailing it’s to talk about their busyness. Sometimes they forget to email back and just when you have given up on hearing from them again they write as if nothing has happened. Remember that people do have busy lives, so don’t demand an immediate response. But if he or she is clearly not making any time to get to know you, don’t feel obliged to accommodate their busyness.

One Way

This type of person writes about their life and interests but is not curious about getting to know you. Some people talk about themselves more than others and they may simply be self-involved. But dating is about getting to know each other, so if they are not making any effort to ask questions and let you see they are interested, it may also be a sign they are not that into you.


The secretive types are the opposite of the one way types. They are very guarded about what they share with you, but are very curious about the details of your personal life. Make sure that sharing is mutual and be careful about over-sharing too soon and investing too much into an online relationship before you meet in person.


Finally, you meet someone that wants to talk and engage. The emails are constant and both of you are sharing more and more. Problem is, they are not willing to talk on the phone or meet in person. It’s right to be cautious about meeting in person, so please read CC’s safety tips before you meet for the first time. However, if they are not willing to take it to the next level, they are not that into you, so stay safe and stop sharing intimate details about your life.

Not Ready

This type has just finished a relationship and they are not sure what they want and it shows. Are you going to be a potential rebound lover? Do make sure this person really is over their ex and has the emotional capacity to pursue something awesome with you.

• • •

I know this can sound scary and discouraging but don’t let it be. God encourages us not to lean on our own understanding (Proverbs 3:5) and follow the guidance of the Holy Spirit (John 16:13). We do this by keeping a clear conscience, listening for Him to speak to our hearts, by hearing a word from the bible or fellow believers and paying attention to our gut instincts. Stand on these and the other person will not distract you from your goal of finding your match.

Lastly, make sure you are not behaving in any of the same ways listed above! Live your best life because you will be rewarded with meeting the type of person you are looking for!

Click here for 5 tips on how to recognise the ones that are into you!

What’s your experience? Do you agree? Are there any other important signs that you would add?

About this Blog

Christian Connection is an award-winning Christian dating website in the UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, USA and Canada.

Since the UK launch in 2000, thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.

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