Author Archives: Katherine Baldwin

When my single friends or coaching clients ask me for feedback on their dating profiles, I often point out that they are selling themselves short. I know these people, either personally or through my work. I know that they are vibrant and colourful, or intuitive and intelligent, or funny and friendly, or supportive and kind, or generous and open-hearted, or, in many cases, all of the above. Yet this doesn’t come across in their profiles…

Many of us go dating in the dark, without a clear picture of what we want, need, deserve or can expect from a romantic relationship. We may be so intent on meeting someone that we override our intuition, ignore red flags and open our hearts to the first person who pays us any attention. When we experience the addictive ‘falling in love’ feeling, it’s easy to think the relationship is part of God’s plan for our lives. But is it?

Dating can be disheartening. I know because I’ve been there. But dating when we’re disheartened is a recipe for failure. So how can we remain positive and hopeful, even when faced with dating disappointment?

Dating with a heart that’s both open and protected may sound like an oxymoron but being able to strike this tricky balance is key to finding healthy love. Our hearts are precious, on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. They pump blood around our body, they connect us to others through love and they connect us to God. They are also easily hurt or wounded, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. It’s not called heartache for nothing, and many of us will have experienced some level of heartbreak. But if past heartache leads us to become overly protective of our hearts, we risk sabotaging our chances of finding true love.

There’s nothing like a global pandemic to get us thinking about what we really want out of life and for many of us, one of the top priorities is to find love. I know from experience that it’s all too easy to abandon our boundaries and let go of healthy relationship practices when we start to feel a sense of urgency, especially faced with post-pandemic dating. So how do we balance the passionate pursuit of a partner with the patience that’s required in order to find the right match?

It’s tempting, at the start of a new year, to write a long list of things we’d like to change and then frantically set about trying to change them, while anxiously watching the clock. But impatience, from my experience, rarely pays off, especially when it comes to love. So, as we move into 2022, I invite you to let go of any worry, panic, fixed timelines or tight deadlines. Yes, I invite you to take your foot off the gas and relax.

It’s that time of year again – a time of TV adverts portraying happy families, couples and children gathered around tables of food or brightly lit Christmas trees surrounded by gifts; a time of parties and gatherings and people making plans. It’s a time of year that can be tough if we’re single, triggering and isolating – a season that sometimes accentuates our aloneness and reminds us of the things we don’t yet have. Unless, that is, we can hold onto hope. Unless we can expect for a brighter future. This is the message of Advent – a time of preparation, preparing for a celebration, preparing for Christ’s arrival, for the light to come and break through the darkness.

If love knocked on your door, would you fling the door open and welcome it in with open arms, would you peer at it suspiciously through the letterbox, or somewhere in between? I ask because I know from experience that looking for love and being ready for love are two different things. We may be dating online, sending messages and meeting for coffee, but we may be doing so with walls of steel around our heart. So how do you unlock your heart and prepare for love?