Author Archives: Katherine Baldwin

Dating with a heart that’s both open and protected may sound like an oxymoron but being able to strike this tricky balance is key to finding healthy love. Our hearts are precious, on a physical, emotional and spiritual level. They pump blood around our body, they connect us to others through love and they connect us to God. They are also easily hurt or wounded, especially when it comes to romantic relationships. It’s not called heartache for nothing, and many of us will have experienced some level of heartbreak. But if past heartache leads us to become overly protective of our hearts, we risk sabotaging our chances of finding true love.

There’s nothing like a global pandemic to get us thinking about what we really want out of life and for many of us, one of the top priorities is to find love. I know from experience that it’s all too easy to abandon our boundaries and let go of healthy relationship practices when we start to feel a sense of urgency, especially faced with post-pandemic dating. So how do we balance the passionate pursuit of a partner with the patience that’s required in order to find the right match?

It’s tempting, at the start of a new year, to write a long list of things we’d like to change and then frantically set about trying to change them, while anxiously watching the clock. But impatience, from my experience, rarely pays off, especially when it comes to love. So, as we move into 2022, I invite you to let go of any worry, panic, fixed timelines or tight deadlines. Yes, I invite you to take your foot off the gas and relax.

It’s that time of year again – a time of TV adverts portraying happy families, couples and children gathered around tables of food or brightly lit Christmas trees surrounded by gifts; a time of parties and gatherings and people making plans. It’s a time of year that can be tough if we’re single, triggering and isolating – a season that sometimes accentuates our aloneness and reminds us of the things we don’t yet have. Unless, that is, we can hold onto hope. Unless we can expect for a brighter future. This is the message of Advent – a time of preparation, preparing for a celebration, preparing for Christ’s arrival, for the light to come and break through the darkness.

If love knocked on your door, would you fling the door open and welcome it in with open arms, would you peer at it suspiciously through the letterbox, or somewhere in between? I ask because I know from experience that looking for love and being ready for love are two different things. We may be dating online, sending messages and meeting for coffee, but we may be doing so with walls of steel around our heart. So how do you unlock your heart and prepare for love?

I spent some of my late thirties and early forties feeling depressed. There were a few reasons for this. I was single, childless and living alone at a time when I always imagined I’d be happily married with a couple of kids. My life hadn’t gone to plan and I couldn’t understand why. But my depression had another source: I wasn’t living an authentic life.

Looking for love can be challenging. I know from my own experience and from speaking with my coaching clients that we can end up feeling disappointed and downhearted, hopeless even, ready to throw in the towel. If this is you, it might be time to reset your romantic life. A reset will look different for everyone but here are eight steps that might help you to feel optimistic again.

Couples who play together stay together. I love this expression and it rings true for me. If two people can sing, dance, paint, hike, bike or swim together, and support each other despite different levels of ability, I believe they are on to a good thing. My husband and I did most of our courting on mountain bikes. I remember one bike ride clearly – I was struggling to get up a steep slope and he was pedalling alongside me, cheering me on. Without his support, I likely would have got off and walked. As it was, I made it to the top without putting my feet down.

When it comes to mountain biking, I can’t compete with my husband – he’s bigger, stronger and faster than me – but we still enjoy biking together. As a laid-back guy, he’s happy to go at my pace, to wait for me now and then and to tell me that I can do it when I think I can’t. He encourages me but doesn’t push me. Not everyone is like this.