Building Godly relationships
In simple terms, a godly relationship is one that glorifies God and one where God is at the centre. The Bible says, ‘can two walk together except they agree?’ (Amos 3:3) If you’re in a relationship that you’re hoping will lead to a happy marriage, it is worth asking yourself, ‘does this relationship glorify God?’ There are a few ways to tell if your relationship glorifies God or not. Ask yourself these questions:
Does this person draw me closer to God?
A godly relationship will draw you closer to God. Whether it is praying together, or attending church, or even having discussions about your faith, when two people in a relationship love God, there is a certain level of depth to that relationship. The Bible says that ‘Iron sharpens iron’. For example, someone with a shared faith can help keep you going when life gets tough. This is why it is so important to only date or consider marrying someone that truly knows and loves God.
Do we bring out the best in each other?
A godly relationship challenges you. You want to be the best version of yourself and the other person wants you to be the best version of you. They can see your potential, and even your hidden talents, and they can help draw them out. If you’re with someone that brings out the worst in you, that’s not a good sign, no matter how much you think you love each other. Godly relationships bring out the best in you.
Are we open and honest with each other?
Can I challenge him/her? If you cannot be honest in your relationship, there could be trouble ahead, especially if this is as a result of fear. A godly relationship allows you to be yourself, to challenge the other person if you feel they’re doing something wrong, and allows you to share your concerns and feelings. Being open and honest with each other helps to build trust. If you don’t trust the person you’re with, that’s a big warning signal!
Does this relationship make me compromise on my values?
It is possible to love God, and still make mistakes. We all make mistakes, because we’re human. But, a relationship that makes you compromise on your morals or values over and over again is not godly. Such a relationship does not glorify God and should be addressed. The Bible says to flee sexual immorality. But I’m not talking just about sexual sin here. A relationship where you’re forced to lie, steal or cheat, in order to please the person will be detrimental to your soul and is not worth it.
Is this the kind of relationship I would like for someone else?
I have found that sometimes the easiest way to tell if a relationship is right is asking yourself what you would say to a close friend or sibling if they were in the same situation. Would you tell them to run? Would you tell them to be careful? Take things slowly? These days when there is so much pressure to settle down, get married and do what everyone else is doing, it is wise to stop, and take stock. Ask yourself, does my relationship glorify God? If the answer is not ‘yes’, what are you going to do about it?