Author Archives: Urenna Kiwanuka

A godly dating relationship should allow both parties to grow together in their walk with God. Before social distancing, the lockdown and other restrictions, you could perhaps visit each other’s churches, attend Christian festivals together, and take part in other ways of shared fellowship, but the lockdown has changed the way we do things.

The Bible says in James 4:8, ‘Draw near to God and He will draw near to you’. I believe that in times like this, we need to draw near to God like never before. The Coronavirus situation has affected all of us in one way or the other, and some, more than others. On a personal level, I’ve had plans, some minor, and others quite major, cancelled or postponed, and there is nothing I can do about it. I’ve heard the word ‘unprecedented’ used so many times in the last few weeks that I’ve lost count. Life as we know it has changed and the future seems very uncertain for many. But, as Christians, we have hope because we serve a God that doesn’t change.

It has been said that you can’t keep doing the same thing and expect to get different results. When it comes to how we think meeting people should happen, a lot of us are pretty set in our ways. Take me, for example. My single life routine was pretty much going to work, then home, church, then home and repeat. I hung out with friends and went to parties here and there but that was pretty much it. I expected that if I was going to meet someone it would have to happen either at church (even though there were only a handful of men) or through one of my friends.

I was speaking with someone recently, and although they were single and trusting God to bring them their life partner at some point, they were concerned that they sometimes self-sabotage. One of the reasons they gave was that they were not usually very friendly towards the few guys they met, especially if those guys were not quite ‘their type’.

Christmas is here, and soon it’ll be New Year’s Eve! Shopping, carol services, Christmas lights, mulled wine and maybe the occasional party. For some singles, the festive season conjures up feelings of joy and thoughts of cosy nights in. For others, it comes with some trepidation; another family get-together with the same old questions – ‘What’s new with you?’, ‘Dating anyone?’ And of course, the classic ‘When are you getting married?’

My husband and I act as a support couple for couples thinking about getting married. We help to facilitate conversation between them, and encourage them to talk about any areas that may be contentious. After talking with one couple recently I realised that there are some questions people don’t think about asking each other unless prompted.

When God doesn’t give us what we want straight away, especially if it’s a good thing that we desire, it could be because He’s trying to develop patience in us. We have to learn to trust and wait on Him. In the case of marriage, it could also be that He’s working on us whilst preparing the right partner to show up at the right time.

I watched a rom-com on Netflix recently. It was about a girl who initially was sceptical about romantic relationships, even though deep down she longed for one herself. The truth was that she didn’t think anyone would ever love her for who she was. In the end however, she realised that what she really needed to make her happy was to love herself.