Emotional Health

Deep down, we all want to be loved. But sometimes our desire for a romantic relationship is so strong that it leads us to show up as less than our full selves in our digital conversations. This then leads to a relationship that isn’t based on the whole truth – and that kind of relationship cannot last. Honesty is the best policy. We all know that. But when it comes to exchanging messages with prospective dates, it can be tempting to censor ourselves or present ourselves less than completely in a slightly different light in the hope of finding that elusive connection. At the root of inauthentic communication is fear.

Control can scupper our dating journey and our chances of forming healthy relationships. I know this from experience. So how can we start letting go of control and looking for love from a place of trust? Let’s begin by exploring how control can sabotage our love life, so that we have an incentive to loosen the reins a little bit.

Do you lose yourself in romantic situations? Are you prone to changing your shape to suit your date, morphing into the person you think they want you to be? Do you struggle to voice your needs and wants or express your truth when dating? Do you find yourself pleasing the other and abandoning yourself? If so, you are not alone and change is possible.

Do you find your imagination runs wild after a good first date? Do you start visualising yourself walking down the aisle with the person you’ve only just met? Or maybe you tend to share too much of yourself on an initial meeting, only to regret doing so afterwards. These are common dating pitfalls, but the good news is dating boundaries can help.

How do we set ourselves up for dating success rather than dating disasters? How do we ensure that we make good choices in relationships and avoid hurting ourselves and others? For me, the key lies in healthy boundaries. There are many types of boundaries we can set with ourselves and others to ensure we stay emotionally and physically safe and avoid pain and hurt. But how do boundaries apply to dating and relationships?