Christmas is rushing towards us at high speed, and this is a time of year when it can feel particularly tough to be single. While other people are (we imagine) revelling in the joys of family festivities and cosy romantic moments (not helped by those Christmas movies – thanks, Love, Actually), singles may be feeling extra lonely and sad that life hasn’t (yet) worked out how they’d hoped.

Advent. You’re here again. It won’t be long before houses are covered in lights. Trees lit. Nativity scenes set up. Choir concerts. Ugly jumper parties. Holly and ivy. Red and green ribbons. Frazzled shoppers exhaling sighs of relief as they finally pull out of the mall traffic. H Samuel, Pandora, Ernest Jones and your local jeweller finalising their ad space—much to the chagrin of singles everywhere. Christmas marketing and hype—not to mention a few ill-timed but well-meaning lines turned jabs from church-goers, friends or family about being single during the holidays, and you’ve got me wanting to run for white-chocolate peppermint bark.

“What I was looking for back then isn’t what I’m looking for now”, a 40-something coaching client said recently as she updated me on her dating progress. So true, I thought. As we mature, our wants, needs, hopes and dreams change.

Are you tired of waiting for love to come your way? Are you over going to engagement parties or weddings on your own? Are you wondering why it’s taking you so long? If so, I know how you feel.

Last Friday I found myself, unusually, with nothing to do. It’s a rare treat in a busy London life, but the thought did flit through my mind ‘I wonder if anyone wants to come over…’ I couldn’t really be bothered to come up with a plan, though, so I just stayed in and watched TV.
During the week I heard from a friend that both she and someone else in our church had been home alone and thinking much the same. If only we’d said something…
So why didn’t we?

‘I’m too old for the singles group and too young for the seniors…’

‘I don’t fit into the women’s ministry because I don’t have a husband or kids…’

‘All the groups in our church focus on families…’

‘I just can’t seem to fit in…’

When God doesn’t give us what we want straight away, especially if it’s a good thing that we desire, it could be because He’s trying to develop patience in us. We have to learn to trust and wait on Him. In the case of marriage, it could also be that He’s working on us whilst preparing the right partner to show up at the right time.

Last month, I shared some tips for putting on an event at your church for single Christians. However, getting to spend time with other single believers doesn’t have to mean running an all-singing, all-dancing, all-praising extravaganza. If you’d prefer to start small, a local meet-up on your patch is a great way to make new connections and doesn’t take too much arranging. You don’t have to start a new career as an events organiser to meet people!