Christmas is here, and soon it’ll be New Year’s Eve! Shopping, carol services, Christmas lights, mulled wine and maybe the occasional party. For some singles, the festive season conjures up feelings of joy and thoughts of cosy nights in. For others, it comes with some trepidation; another family get-together with the same old questions – ‘What’s new with you?’, ‘Dating anyone?’ And of course, the classic ‘When are you getting married?’

As we hurtle towards Christmas at break-neck speed, I’d like to invite you to slow down for a moment and to connect with your feelings. What’s going on inside? Does this time of year stir particular emotions in you? Do you feel joy and hope, or do you feel a lack of love and a […]

Christmas is rushing towards us at high speed, and this is a time of year when it can feel particularly tough to be single. While other people are (we imagine) revelling in the joys of family festivities and cosy romantic moments (not helped by those Christmas movies – thanks, Love, Actually), singles may be feeling extra lonely and sad that life hasn’t (yet) worked out how they’d hoped.

Advent. You’re here again. It won’t be long before houses are covered in lights. Trees lit. Nativity scenes set up. Choir concerts. Ugly jumper parties. Holly and ivy. Red and green ribbons. Frazzled shoppers exhaling sighs of relief as they finally pull out of the mall traffic. H Samuel, Pandora, Ernest Jones and your local jeweller finalising their ad space—much to the chagrin of singles everywhere. Christmas marketing and hype—not to mention a few ill-timed but well-meaning lines turned jabs from church-goers, friends or family about being single during the holidays, and you’ve got me wanting to run for white-chocolate peppermint bark.

“What I was looking for back then isn’t what I’m looking for now”, a 40-something coaching client said recently as she updated me on her dating progress. So true, I thought. As we mature, our wants, needs, hopes and dreams change.

Are you tired of waiting for love to come your way? Are you over going to engagement parties or weddings on your own? Are you wondering why it’s taking you so long? If so, I know how you feel.

Last Friday I found myself, unusually, with nothing to do. It’s a rare treat in a busy London life, but the thought did flit through my mind ‘I wonder if anyone wants to come over…’ I couldn’t really be bothered to come up with a plan, though, so I just stayed in and watched TV.
During the week I heard from a friend that both she and someone else in our church had been home alone and thinking much the same. If only we’d said something…
So why didn’t we?

‘I’m too old for the singles group and too young for the seniors…’

‘I don’t fit into the women’s ministry because I don’t have a husband or kids…’

‘All the groups in our church focus on families…’

‘I just can’t seem to fit in…’