5 simple ways to find contentment in singleness this Christmas
Winter was a time when I felt my singleness profoundly. It seemed the romance of Christmas was everywhere, with romantic Christmas movies, dates to Christmas markets and ice rinks, cosy hot chocolates and mistletoe – and I wasn’t included. Once the romance of Christmas was over, there was the pressure of New Year. All the resolutions, the desire to find a partner that very year, the realisation that another year would begin without a kiss at midnight. One question came up repeatedly: How could I find contentment in singleness during the festive season?
I remember that I felt very single, like I was not a part of something that everyone else had. However, I had to remember that this was a commercialised Christmas and New Year. Who decided to have all these pressures? Was it God? No.
It’s time to find contentment in singleness and not be caught up in the materialism and pressure of this time of year. Once we are content in our singleness, we are more ready to meet someone and be able to date without the influence and push of what looks like the seemingly unobtainable, perfect winter season.
So, how can we not get caught up in the pressure of Christmas and the materialism of this season? Here are five simple suggestions.
Find Contentment In God
Finding contentment in God is vital. God is everything you need in life and you should be able to find complete fulfilment in Him, because you can hand over everything to Him – your worries, your financial struggles, your loneliness, your bad habits. You shouldn’t need to find a partner in order to function and until you feel able to process this, you might want to consider whether it’s the right time to be dating.
You shouldn’t need to be sucked into the commercialism and you shouldn’t need to have a date on New Year’s Eve. There’s a whole new year ahead to find a new date; don’t put pressure on yourself to just find someone ‘because’. There is no need just to settle because it’s the festive season. God should be able to fulfil your desire not to be alone. He is your rock, your stability, your go-to for moans, joys and trials, and He will never leave you nor forsake you. Having that knowledge should make you feel incredibly loved, valued and cherished.
Keep some perspective
The festive season is only a short snippet of the year! You don’t need to pressurise yourself to find a date or get dragged into the materialism of the festive season with all the Christmas parties, the sparkles, the gifts. Keep your perspective focused on God. He is what matters, not whether you look your best at any Christmas events you go to, or how to impress your crush with an epic secret Santa gift!
Allow yourself to be brought back down to earth – New Year’s Eve is one evening out of 365. Who cares if you have a kiss at midnight? You have 364 other evenings in which to potentially have a date and kiss at midnight! You will more likely find a good date when you aren’t trying to force a situation.
Go back to basics
What is Christmas and New Year really about? Christmas is truly about celebrating the birth of our Saviour, Jesus Christ. Did Jesus get caught up in commercialism? No, he was born in a manger with nothing. His parents went on the run with Him soon after. Mary didn’t even have a bed. Life was undoubtedly hard.
Thank God for what He has already given you. Find the blessings and don’t focus on what you don’t have. New year is celebrating the fact that God has given you another year to live, to learn and grow in Him. You can’t know who you’ll meet in the New Year, but until the point that God may bring someone into your life, enjoy what He has already give you. You’ll find life much more enjoyable with simple joys.
Prepare your heart for dating
Rather than watching romantic Christmas movies on repeat, study God’s word instead. Watching unrealistic examples of what ‘love’ is, does not prepare you for dating or life in a relationship. It’s likely to do the opposite and you’ll expect a fairytale, which may not happen! Instead, life happens and reality kicks in.
If you want to know what true love is, study God’s word and spend time with Him because God IS love. God is the purest and most steadfast form of love – you will never find this in a human relationship. Humans let you down and are not perfect, but God is utterly perfect.
By serving, we help others and this helps us not to get dragged into consumerism. We can serve at local homeless shelters or food banks, or even helping out at church – perhaps you already do. The fellowship that you should receive at church will build you up, and surround you with love. It may not be the romantic love you seek right now, but you will be loved and appreciated.
Keep things simple this festive season. Take the pressure off, and don’t get sucked into what the world ‘thinks’ the festive season should look like. Look to God, and remember the true meaning of this time of year.