Author Archives: Hannah Grace

The Christmas season is a time for connection, reconnection and new connections. For most of us, it’s a time for being together, for meaningful conversations, and surrounding yourself with the people you love, whether family or friends. A very famous Christmas film opens with clips of connection: people coming home to arrivals at an airport, with joyful connections, hugs, kisses, handshakes, seeing old friends, new friends, loved ones, which fills the viewer with warmth. If you’re wondering how to connect this Christmas, here are some simple ways.

Today, having a deep, meaningful and strong connection with someone is a rare thing. We have so many distractions around us – social media, work, various screens and a never ending ‘to do list’. Our strongest connection can sometimes be with our smartphone rather than with God or with actual people. This doesn’t have to be the case. An early connection after meeting online can be nurtured and cultivated into something precious right from when you first start dating and as your relationship develops.

When I was on tour during my work as an actor and travelling around the country, I had to do a lot of ‘church hopping’. I would try out different churches in each venue to maintain some sort of fellowship. It was a wonderful chance to try out different styles of worship, meet new people and find out more about the local area. But I was very much single during this time – and being a first time church visitor as a single person can be daunting, isolating and nerve wracking. So, what did I learn that could help?

Integrating your lives can be one of the biggest challenges in a relationship – whatever stage of life you meet at, family is a factor. Whether you’re just starting out in dating or find yourself single later in life, you’ll be likely to encounter people who are related to the person you’re getting to know – parents, children and maybe many more relations. And you’ll probably need to get to know them too! Where do you start?

Once dating starts to get a little more serious, there are stepping stones to integrate two different lives. Often one of the first of these is the meeting of each other’s friends. Friends can make or break a relationship, especially if their opinion sways you. Meeting your new partner’s friends can be very nerve-wracking, so what should you consider? How can you continue to value friends as you date? And what might be going on under the surface, with your friends or theirs?

How can dating stay fresh? Instead of getting stuck in a rut, whether going on first dates or keeping dating alive in a long term relationship, look for date ideas with imagination. Doing the same old things, going to the same places, ordering the same takeaways, going on the same walks can be an easy habit to fall into – even if meeting someone for the first time and relying on an ‘old favourite’ instead of a new idea – but maybe it’s time to mix it up a bit! Give your dating life a refresh with some simple changes.

There’s only so much “It’ll happen at the right time”, “You just haven’t met the one”, “Don’t give up”, or “God’s timing is perfect” you can take before it starts to get old! The worst is “Why are you still single, you’re such a good catch?” – the most infuriating question that used to sting me when I got asked, kicking me when I was down. How can you remain godly in your search for a Christian, staying true to what the Bible says about looking for a Christian partner, without compromising when you want to pack it all in, throw in the towel and stop the feelings of loneliness?

We probably all grew up with an expectation of what the perfect relationship would look like. Romantic movies, adverts on television, books and our own imaginations help to create the idea of the ideal partner and the model relationship. Couples that look like they have it so ‘together’. This can be heightened when single. It is hard when you first start dating someone and reality kicks in! You are excited, the butterflies start fluttering, you start thinking about the future and can be desperate to impress. But not every moment will be wonderful and we need to think about expectation vs reality. Even in small ways, expectations are not met, and hard conversations can be needed to make a successful, happy relationship. How can you balance your expectations and not let yourself be disappointed by reality?