Can I embrace Valentine’s Day as a single person?
Yes you can! Now you might be thinking, “What are you, crazy?! I dread Valentine’s Day.” Such pressure, the spotlight on me as a single, the pity of relatives, the platitudes from married church folk, the disregard from certain greeting card firms, the smugness of the happy loved up couples. Not to mention the accusations of being “too picky, too selfish, too old, too independent, too needy etc…” Embrace Valentine’s Day?!*!?
I had survived my first Christmas after the break-up of a significant relationship. It was a new year and I decided to plan for a positive Valentine’s Day and other forthcoming significant events in order to circumvent potential loneliness and self-pity.
Sensing the impending doom of V-Day, I asked myself; “How would I help a client in a similar position? What’s proven helpful in the past?” Here are some ideas including what helped me to have a great Valentine’s Day.
1. Plan your Valentine’s day and evening well in advance
Arrange to spend time with kind friends and family, other positive single people, perhaps a mixed gender group.
2. Organise a dinner or party with fun activities
Preferably at someone’s home where everyone brings something. Co-ordinate a good quality menu with a friend so you don’t end up with 6 chocolate fudge cakes and 1 quiche. Alternatively, guests could donate a certain amount, and host buys the ingredients, and gifts etc. You could have a theme for the gathering. Invite at least 4 people so it’s not too intense. Guests can help to clear up at the end 🙂
3. Don’t go shopping!
Avoid shopping centres. Shop online so you’re not assaulted by presumptuous and pushy sales people caught in the whirlwind of V-Day frenzy.
4. Go shopping!
Before V-Day luxury goods and services have the best deals. Treat yourself to that luxury perfume or aftershave you’ve had your eye on for ages that you wish that special someone would buy for you.
Alternative wait until after V-Day, when sales drop by 60% on luxury chocolates and other Valentine’s paraphernalia.
5. Don’t send Valentine’s cards
Unless you really mean it – buying and receiving a card can mean a lot to a single person and trigger all kinds of emotions. If you do send it, please be responsible and sign it, rather than keep it a secret. If you are newly developing a relationship with someone, consider giving a friendship card instead.
6. Avoid contacting ex-partners during Valentine’s weekend
No text messages, gifts or cards. That person could have moved on and it comes over as a little sad if it’s not reciprocated. Avoid dwelling on ‘if only’. The bible only allowed 4 weeks to grieve the loss of a spouse. Ouch!!! If you do have more grieving to do, postpone it! Meanwhile implement some of these ideas.
7. Get some perspective
V-Day is just ONE day. There are more important issues in life than boosting corporate profits. Focus on how, as singles, we can demonstrate God’s love in this world. Perhaps by volunteering for a charity that’s close to our heart. They might need help on Valentine’s weekend due to absence of their “coupled” staff.
8. Take care of you
Maintain good habits and routines. Exercise, eat well, pamper yourself, spend time with trustworthy and positive people. Be careful of your focus. Our thoughts impact our emotions, which lead to actions with consequences. Negative thoughts can lead to negative actions. Positive thoughts, positive actions.
Remember Valentine’s Day is about love. Let’s receive even more of the greatest love of all. “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John4:14)
So, how will YOU embrace Valentine’s Day? What ideas do you have to share to help others to do the same?
If you are interested in the issues surrounding Single Christians, take a look at our partner site SingleChristians.co.uk.