In our everyday lives, there are many ways we can put God at the centre – but what does it mean to put God at the centre of dating or our relationships? Praying regularly, reading the Bible, asking Him for wisdom when we need guidance or to make a decision, and making sure that everything we do aligns with His word and His will are all essential. For me, putting God at the centre of dating meant involving Him in every decision I made around dating – whether it was who to say hello to online, or who to agree to go on a date with. But even before I met anyone, praying about the type of relationship I wanted was a priority for me.
Prayer
When I was looking to date, I prayed about every person I considered for a relationship; I needed to know if they were the kind of person God wanted me to be with. I didn’t want someone who would cause me to compromise on my relationship with God, or someone who was lacklustre in their faith. I believe that as a result of this, God saved me from some potentially toxic relationships but also from some that were just not His best for me.
Alignment
When I started actively dating, it was important for me to be with someone who aligned with my views about how a dating relationship should work. Putting God at the centre wasn’t just about our decision to keep ourselves until marriage, but also about making sure our dating relationship was honouring to God. This included being intentional about what we discussed, how and where we spent our time, and who was speaking into our relationship.
Intentionality
When I met my now-husband (read the story of how Urenna met her husband Rob on Christian Connection), I became even more intentional about our relationship and about putting God at the centre. When I started to realise that this could be the person I spent the rest of my life with, I knew I needed God’s guidance every step of the way in our relationship. So, I let God lead in things like the timings of when to discuss certain aspects of our relationship, when to tell our parents and close friends and family about each other, which church to attend, and even when to eventually get married.
Seeking God
Now that we’re married, things haven’t changed much. We continue to seek God about decisions concerning our marriage and our children, where to live, our jobs and career opportunities, church and extended family. Putting God at the centre of our relationship has given us peace in the knowledge that we’re not walking blindly; He is leading us in His best plans for our lives. And even when we’re not sure what to do, we can walk forward in faith knowing that we have committed our decisions to Him.
The Bible says that we should commit our ways to the Lord and trust in Him (Psalm 37 v 5). I don’t think you can have a healthy relationship or know God’s plan for your life unless you put Him at the centre.
Trust
What this looks like in practice might differ from person to person, but ultimately it means that God and His word take priority in your life and relationship decisions. It means thinking about ways to honour God in your relationship and avoiding actions that dishonour Him. It means prioritising what God’s word says over your thoughts and feelings, even when it’s hard. It means letting God have the final say in your dating life and relationship.
It won’t always be easy, and there will be moments when you’ll be tempted to compromise, or wonder if you’re doing the right thing. But ultimately, you can trust that when you put God at the centre, He will never leave you, whichever way the relationship ends.
How could you put God at the centre of your dating life?
Enjoyed ‘How I put God at the centre of dating’? Read more posts by Urenna Kiwanuka here