A woman standing in a field

Encouragement for singles: how to live a full and happy life

I’ve been serving in Christian singles social groups for the past 10 years. When I first got involved a regular theme of discussion was ‘The Church should be doing more for singles’.
However, when I began to organise events for Christian singles, I realised that we were a huge group of very capable and talented people who had the potential to organise ourselves, and to offer the Church support in its efforts to understand and serve us. We can start to make a difference to a church culture that is often focused more on couples and children.

I’ve also learned that there are ways to be happy and fulfilled in our lives. Here are some ideas to make the most of the unpartnered life and bless our churches.

  • Look at the lives of single people in the Bible and in Church history. We’ve made a huge impact! There is Jesus, obviously – and St Paul. Many of the most inspirational people in the church have been single.
  • Look for fresh opportunities to enrich your life. Be more courageous and push yourself beyond your comfort zone. This may mean approaching people at church you have never spoken to before, joining a new club, starting a new sport or taking positive practical steps to find a partner – if that is your desire.
  • Find a church that openly appreciates singles, giving them responsibility and where appropriate, positions of leadership.
  • Talk openly about the good things that being single brings and honestly about the challenges that they face too. Get involved in serving your church and focus on making a difference in other people’s lives.
  • Accept you will need to make more effort to make new friends and keep old ones. Everyone is so busy these days, particularly if families are involved, that you will need to take the initiative to make things happen. So, get a good diary, make a list of all those you want to get to know better and arrange to see them – for coffee after church, a meal at yours, a picnic in the park etc. or simply phone them regularly for a chat. Don’t allow yourself to ‘disappear’.
  • Stay positive. During life’s ups and downs there are still lots of things to be thankful for. If you don’t feel this, then invest time thinking of all you can be grateful for. Only true hope can save us from a ‘hopeless’ situation.
  • Stay connected. Create and maintain good relationships with church, family and friends. Fair weather friends can be great fun but of no use when the going gets tough. So, be a good friend and find good friends.

There are lots of challenges to the single life, but there are lots of benefits too. Get out there and meet new people, love your neighbour and live life to the full!

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