Stand out from the crowd: How to write a winning profile
‘Hey, HopefulGirl, check out my profile – if you like what you see, let’s chat!’ I clicked through to my fellow cyberdater’s profile. The photos were nice enough, but he’d written nothing to reveal what he was about as a person. ‘Just ask whatever you want to know,’ he insisted. But with so many interesting profiles to browse, this guy had offered nothing to spark my curiosity or make me want to learn more.
No one finds love on a Christian dating website by just signing up and waiting for the offers to roll in. Our profile is our advert, which makes people decide whether or not to contact us, so it pays to put in the effort. Some folk don’t even upload a full profile – they fill in a few multiple choice questions, then give up. It screams ‘lazy and can’t be bothered’, and I’ve yet to meet anyone looking for a partner who’s lazy and can’t be bothered! If someone can’t find an hour in their busy schedule to write a decent profile, they certainly don’t have time for a relationship.
So what makes for a good profile? The most important thing is to communicate a sense of your personality. Almost everyone enjoys reading, travelling and seeing friends, so be specific – have you read any inspiring books lately? Visited a fascinating country on a mission trip? How do you spend time with friends – windsurfing, watching football, in a knitting circle…? It all helps to paint a picture of who you are. Keep it succinct, though – most people don’t want to wade through a dissertation, and there’s plenty of time to share your life story when you go on a date.
You’re not writing a job application – you’re here to make friends, so don’t be afraid to write like you talk, or to inject a little gentle humour or quirkiness. On my profile, I wrote: ‘I once did an online careers questionnaire and was told I’d make a good undertaker, which was worrying. Instead, I ended up working in the media. I’d love to study more and I waste lots of time fantasising about the courses I’d do if only I had the time… I think I’ve just spotted where I’m going wrong!’ [By the way, if you think you’ve just rumbled my identity, be a pal and don’t blow my cover. I’m protecting a lot of people’s identities in my book… one of them might even be yours!]
It should go without saying that you keep it honest. Any fibs will come back to bite you later on. Age is the classic one, even on Christian websites (worrying, I know). But if you meet someone, you’ll have to come clean in the end, and they’ll never trust you again.
Still worried about commiting a faux pas? Here are a few clangers that had me skipping swiftly to the next profile…
- Talking about how much you miss your ex. Or how much you hate them. It may be true that your ex was (and I quote) ‘dirty’, ‘lazy’ and ‘let herself go’, but bitterness, spite and self-pity don’t make an evening in your company sound all that enticing.
- Providing a link to your blog, where you inform us you haven’t been off the toilet all day. Even worse, discussing your haemorrhoids in the chatroom. (I’m not making this stuff up!)
- Declaring yourself to be ‘a cool and wonderful person’. False modesty isn’t much better: ‘People consider me brilliant, but I see myself as an ordinary person.’
- Writing a 2,000-word sermon on how to get saved. Of course we want to hear about your faith, but you are quite literally preaching to the converted.
- Insisting you look 10 years younger than you are – a common claim, frequently in spite of the evidence. Safer just to let your photos speak for themselves.
Talking of photos, it’s essential to include one. And no, it’s not just about being judged on your looks – tune in for more on that next month…