Man on mountain enjoying new year nature

6 ways to keep your new year (and dating) resolutions alive

‘New year, new me’. We hear this phrase so many times (and sometimes say it!) with New Year’s resolutions. We make health plans, fitness and life goals and, of course, dating ambitions – all ready to start at the stroke of midnight. The excitement and pressure build, the determination is there, but according to the US News and World report, 80% of the New Year’s resolutions fail by February. How are yours going so far?!

This past year has been an exceptionally hard one for everyone. We’ve learnt to expect the unexpected, adapt and slow down. The truth is, no one apart from God knows what the coming year will bring. That is both exciting and daunting. 2021 could be the year where you meet your partner for life! Life can change dramatically – both for good and bad – and the only constant we have is the fact that God does not change. He is completely in control.

Keep God at the centre – 2 Corinthians 5:17 says  “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new”. Following Christ is the best kind of resolution you could ever make.  Changes and goals can be good – but to make them sustainable, God needs to be at the centre. Stop trying to make changes to yourself and struggling to maintain them on your own. God is the one who can change your heart, and ultimately it is His will that is best for you in the new year. Preparing your heart first will ready you for meeting someone new, making sure you’re ready to share your heart and life. How can you ensure you’re doing all you can to be ready for a g

Pray the new year in – and keep praying – This is a great way to hand over the year to God – this will take the pressure off you and allow God to be in control: “Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven” (Matthew 6:10). This will give a sense of peace as you know you are not alone on the journey that the new year will bring. Giving God space and control will mean that your priorities are right, meaning that you can then seek meaningful connections with people or start a new relationship well.

Lose the pressure – Stop trying to force change. Take the pressure off yourself, and don’t beat yourself up if you slip. New goals take a while to become a habit. God can change people and hearts so allow Him to do His work in you through prayer, rather than you trying to change yourself. Don’t try to force a relationship also does not work, no matter how much you want it to happen. It will happen naturally when the timing is right, trust God in that. Wait for God’s best!

Manage your time – with God – Starting and ending your day with God is a great way to do this, key to using your time well. Ask God to help you to work out who or what is important that day and focus on that. If this is the year you want to focus on meeting a life partner, then this will help you make time for dating or pursuing a relationship. God can bring about the right people to see for that day and the right circumstances if we trust and allow Him to work.

Declutter – Our brains and lives are so full, it’s hard to make any space or change for anything new. It’s hard to give anything our full attention as our brains are thinking of everything else that needs doing. This can cause dates and relationships to fail as full attention is needed to create meaningful connections. Prioritise one thing at a time, be that the date in front of you, the online profile you’re creating to date, or the relationship you’re in. Focusing on one thing at a time fully stops us from becoming ‘scatterbrains’.

Make mini goals – Give yourself things to look forward to and build this into your timetable or diary. It’s good to have expectations but try not to make them so high they’re unreachable. Instead, make your expectations realistic. Give yourself points during the year to have something to look forward to. This will keep a positive and happy attitude rather than a bitter, negative, worked-to-the-bone mindset. You want to be at your best for when you do meet someone, and having interesting things that excite you make you who you are; keeping your attitude happy. You’ll be in a much better mindset to date and make a good impression as you’ll feel more confident.

The new year is a time to look forward. We can make positive changes in our lives, but these will only be sustained with the help of God who can change us from the inside out. Trying to change ourselves humanly from the outside in will just be superficial. Let God to do His work in you, allow Him and that will be the best resolution you can make for 2021.

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