A man and woman talking in church

Should you church hop to find a date?

Maybe there’s no one suitable in your own church community, but you’ve heard of eligible singles in others. It might seem the most logical move, to, well, keep on moving.

Perhaps you’ve already been warned against this approach. So why exactly is it a bad idea to church hop to date – both from a spiritual and practical perspective?

It’s disruptive

One of the reasons you shouldn’t church hop to date is similar to the reason it’s not a good idea to change your job frequently or move home constantly to meet new pools of single people. It’s hugely disruptive in areas of your life where continuity is very beneficial.

That’s not to say you should never change job, church, or move to a new place. But these are important decisions that need to be based on other factors, not as a vehicle for dating. Not only can these things be disruptive for you, but they can also impact those around you too,

It can seem fickle

If you church hop to meet new singles you won’t come across as someone who’s committed, and being able to commit is high up on the list of things needed to get married. Consider how your actions might appear to any potential spouses. If you suddenly appear in a new church, with no other reason for moving from another one nearby, and begin approaching eligible people, your motives will be obvious.

Wanting to meet someone is totally legitimate, of course. But the church community is part of a bigger picture in your life, so ditching it for this reason can seem fickle. This doesn’t give the best character impression, so may work against you in attracting someone.

There are better methods

Uprooting your church life purely for this purpose is an inefficient system. Especially as to cover ground, you’d have to keep doing it, potentially over and over, until you meet your future spouse.

Christian communities are generally well connected in each region or town. Rather than move churches, look for and create opportunities to meet other singles. You could try some of these options:

  • See if there are any inter-church or local Christian events and conferences you can attend.
  • Ask friends if they know anyone they could set you up with from another church.
  • Go to a Christian festival and look for singles events.
  • Arrange a local meetup yourself and invite singles from all the churches in your area.
  • Join a dating site!

If you choose to organise some events yourself, you’ll be helping others as well as yourself. It can be a lot of fun and carry many extra benefits, such as founding new friendships. It doesn’t have to be an outright dating event either, just anything that provides an opportunity to socialise on a wider scale. Do get permission from the leaders/pastor/vicar first though!

It’s frustrating when you want to find a spouse and don’t see any potential in your current community. So it’s understandable that you’d want to take some action. But you can be proactive about increasing your chances of meeting someone suitable who shares your faith, without having to church hop.

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