3 simple ways to be a blessing as you date
The dating world can sometimes be a minefield, and even more so if it’s your first time stepping out of your comfort zone to try to meet people. Dating itself can be very exciting; you get to meet new people, make friends and hopefully end up with the person you will spend the rest of your life with. Wouldn’t it be great along the way if everyone acted with courtesy and grace when dealing with each other on the dating scene? Here’s how you can be a blessing to others as you date.
Sometimes, instead of being blessed – or being a blessing – during the dating journey, things don’t go to plan. I’m sure you’ve heard (or even experienced for yourself) some dating horror stories, and not everyone turns out to be the perfect gentleman or lady they may initially appear to be.
The Bible tells us in Romans 12:10 to “Love one another with genuine affection. Esteem others more highly than yourself”. If you’re thinking of dating, it is worth thinking about how you can be a blessing to others as you date.
Even if a relationship doesn’t work out, you can move on with your life knowing that you treated the other person well.
You can be a blessing to others by being kind, respectful and generous to them. It may sound obvious, but treat people the way you would want to be treated. What does this mean in practical terms?
Be a blessing with your words
You can be a blessing as you date in the way you communicate. This includes thinking about the words you use when speaking to people; not being harsh, rude, or disrespectful.
It also means saying what you mean, and not saying what you don’t mean (if you know what I mean!). Don’t manipulate people with your words. Don’t make fun of them or belittle them. Instead, compliment them and make them feel good about themselves.
Always speak the truth, even when it may be uncomfortable. Even if you don’t particularly see a long-term future with someone, treating them right is still very important.
Be open and honest with people when dating. If you meet someone and soon realise it’s not going to work out, be honest with them and let them know how you feel.
In the same way, if you’re feeling good about the relationship, communicate that too.
Be a blessing with your actions
Just as we can bless people with the words that we say and don’t say, we can also be a blessing with our actions. This means treating people kindly, and acting in ways that make them feel loved, valued, and respected.
It means showing your true and authentic self, and not leaving them guessing as to how you feel about them. It also means being upfront when things are not working out, instead of stringing them along whilst you look at other options.
It means not ‘ghosting’ them. Most people prefer to know where they stand when it comes to relationships, so the both of you are not wasting your time.
Talking about time wasting, don’t play games either. If you like someone, show them that you like them. Respond to their messages on time and reciprocate affection. Call them regularly. Offer to do things for them.
But don’t force it or use your actions to pressure someone into a relationship. Sometimes, two people can like each other, but the other person just needs a bit of time. So be patient and gentle until the other person is ready.
Be a blessing with your resources
Now, I don’t mean that you should go and spend all you have trying to get someone’s affection, or to prove that you like someone.
Your resources could include your time (make time for the person and give your undivided attention when you’re together, listen to them as they open up and share their life with you), your finances (buying little gifts to let them know you’re thinking of them), or even your skills, e.g., cooking for them, or making them thoughtful gifts.
Whilst we all have different key love languages, most people appreciate it when they can see that time and effort have gone into a gift, be it a physical one, or some other creative idea you may come up with.
Being a blessing to others is all about how we treat them and make them feel. A quote attributed to Maya Angelou sums this up: “People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
Being a blessing to others is about leaving people better off for having met you, even if things don’t work out. But you don’t need to overthink it; I believe the words of Jesus truly sum it up- ‘love your neighbour as yourself’.
What are the ways you’ve found to be a blessing when dating?
Enjoyed reading ‘3 simple ways to be a blessing as you date’? Read more by Urenna Kiwanuka here.