6 great ways to embrace being single
The dating world can be a lonely place, where we actually end up spending a lot of time wishing for a relationship and don’t embrace being single. The grass always seems greener on the other side. Wishing our lives were different can sometimes lead to discontentment and dissatisfaction. We can become insular and feel lonely but if we can change our attitude we can enjoy the time that we are single as it is a precious time between you and God without distractions. If we wait around to do certain things until we have a partner, we could be waiting a long time especially if God calls us to singleness! It also means that we miss out on many opportunities and exciting things in life, if we were only brave enough to do it ourselves. My advice to you would be to stop waiting, and to start doing!
We are constantly told in this world that you can’t love until you love yourself…even Justin Bieber sang about it! But what does the Bible say? God says to ‘love thy neighbour as thyself’, so there is an expectation of being OK with who you are. If you treat yourself, you can treat others too, if you’re kind to yourself, you can be kind to others. How can you best embrace being single?
When I accepted my singlehood and learnt to enjoy the time that I had by myself, I started dating myself and I was in a better place to meet someone. I wasn’t moping around waiting for my life to begin when I met someone, instead I made the most of my singlehood and the moment I truly and fully embraced it was the moment my husband appeared!
Learn to enjoy your own company – you’re great, and if you want to spend time with yourself and enjoy it, then chances are then other people will want to spend time with you. It’s good to be comfortable in your own skin.
I used to literally go on dates by myself! I would give myself date days where I would go out for dinner by myself and then go to the cinema or to the theatre – I loved it!
It takes courage and bravery at first as it may feel strange, but it is also liberating. It’s a wonderful time to get stuck into a book at the restaurant or people watch, or strike up interesting conversations with unexpected people!
You do get used to it after a while but to begin with it can be a little nerve wracking, but go in confidence, there’s nothing to be ashamed of when asking for a table for one. You’re treating yourself and taking time for yourself and that should be celebrated.
If time and your budget allows, give yourself little pick me ups that help you through the week – an ice cream, a moment of calm with a slice of cake and a good book at a coffee shop, (which also can be a great conversation starter with strangers), buy some flowers or a new gadget. If you feel loved through gifts, then buy yourself gifts!
Learn something new
You could also embrace being single by trying new experiences too – book yourself onto an art class, pottery making, cookery, cake decorating, or a dance class, join a sports group. Who says you must have a partner to do these things?
Instead, these enrich your life and are a great way of meeting new people, and making you more interesting with new skills whilst dating yourself. These can get you out of your comfort zone, helping you to embrace life and all that God has in store for you.
New classes can revitalise you and be great conversation starters for when you do date other people.
It’s important to look after yourself as well, however that looks like, which is an extension of treating yourself. Find a quiet corner for a cup of tea and a book for a bit of peace, have a relaxing bath, or book a spa day or massage.
I used to book spa breaks for one just to give myself a break, relax, rejuvenate and come back refreshed ready for the business of life again. It gave me a break from the norm whilst treating myself and looking after my body. It also gave me something to look forward to.
Going by yourself means you can go at your own pace. The quiet may feel strange at first, but it opens a door to listening to God, being able to listen to others and strike up fresh conversations and you choosing when you want to socialise.
When I was on tour, I would explore every city I went to by myself, I would see it as an adventure, finding the hidden gems, the museums, the attractions, all enriching me. Book that trip – going solo means you can have more time with God, going at your own pace.
Who says you can’t travel by yourself? Book a holiday and enjoy it! You can absolutely explore when you’re single, or if you’re nervous going by yourself, then you can book on to group holidays.
This is a great way of meeting new people if you don’t want to be completely by yourself, but it’s amazingly liberating going solo. You can surround yourself in the culture.
Even if your budget means you need to stay local, there’s still lots to see, do and learn about close to home. Seek out places you can delve into without going far as well. Depending on what’s nearby, enjoy nature reserves, seaside walks – or borrow a dog for a day and go walking.
Enjoy God’s creation and the beauty of nature, get up early for the sunrise, or appreciate a sunset on an evening walk. If you’re able, getting a bike can mean rides to places you wouldn’t otherwise have found. If you can, get outside and get enjoying what’s around you. Embrace being single by embracing the world around you!
Build yourself up
Don’t speak badly of yourself. If you were dating someone you wouldn’t say unkind things to them, instead you’d build them up, maybe giving them love letters or little notes. Make sure that you’re doing the same for yourself.
Tell yourself affirming words that you are beautifully and wonderfully made because you are made in the image of God. Don’t be mean to yourself – build yourself up. If it helps you can write yourself notes to remind you that you are special and beautiful in God’s eyes and you are a child of God.
It’s easy to wish for something you don’t have, easy to wish your life away, easy to wish you could share experiences with someone. But just because you’re not experiencing them with someone else, doesn’t mean you can’t experience them at all.
Embrace being single – with God
Appreciate the time and the freedom of where you are at right now. Each season has its own blessings, but wishing for the next season means that you waste your time in the season you are in.
Appreciate the moment you are in, otherwise the time will pass and the years will be wasted in yearning for something without actually making the most of the time that you have.
You have an opportunity to immerse yourself in God’s word and time to spend with Him. God always listens, you can give God all your problems, He’s steadfast, doesn’t leave you or forsake you.
He can take on all your anxieties and even commands that we hand them over to Him. I remember when I was single, the feeling that I wasn’t able to offload the worries of the day or the exciting things of the day to a partner.
However, being able to talk to God about them is a reminder that God cares for us, the big things and the small things. Spend time in prayer, immerse yourself in your church and have fellowship there. Grow as a Christian and grow in God.
Enjoyed reading ‘6 great ways to embrace being single’? Read more by Hannah Grace here.