Woman sat on a bench

Some lessons on rejection

At some point in our lives, each of us will face some form of rejection. Be it in the form of a failed job opportunity, or a failed relationship, we soon realise that life doesn’t always go in the direction we want it to. But is this necessarily a bad thing? I think not.

You see, various life experiences have taught me that sometimes rejection can be the best thing that happens to a person.

For example, a few years ago I was out of work as I waited for a visa application to be processed. The whole process took much longer than expected- almost ten months! During this time I went through one rejected application after another. I was bored out of my mind without much to do, so in order to pass the time, I decided to start writing. I started my blog and soon discovered that I loved writing! The ten months flew by and by the time I started my ‘real’ job, I also had a blog which led to several writing opportunities such as this one.

Or take relationships, for example. Now that I’m married I sometimes look back at previous relationships and think ‘thank God that never worked out!’ At the time it felt soul-destroying and like the world had come to an end. However, the rejection meant that I was available for what God had in store for me, which turned out to be way better than I could ever have imagined.

Rejection, or failure, depending on how you look at it, can open up opportunities for an individual. Not getting a particular job can mean that you later end up with something much better, or even a self-employment opportunity that gives you more flexibility and control of your life.

It is important that when you face rejection, however, that you don’t see yourself as a failure. Just because one relationship didn’t work out doesn’t mean that none of them will. Just because you didn’t get that business deal doesn’t mean that this is it for you. Remember that God has a specific plan for your life, and He doesn’t want you to settle for less than what He wants to give to you. I’ve come to the point in my life where if something doesn’t work out how I want it to, I don’t spend too much time dwelling on it, or feeling sorry for myself because I believe it is for the best. And more often than not, time usually reveals this to be the case.

Rejection can be a great learning experience. It allows you to look inwards and assess your life, and your decisions. If it is a job situation, you may realise that you didn’t prepare as well as you could have for the interview, or that you need more experience for that particular role, so you do what you need to do to make that happen. In the same vein, the end of a relationship can be a good time to review what went wrong, what you really want in a life partner, and what you’re not willing to compromise on. This journey of self-discovery may lead to interesting findings, but hopefully, this means that you’ll be better prepared when the right relationship comes along.

Lastly, we must remember that what people think about us is not nearly as important as what our Heavenly Father thinks. We are loved and accepted by Him, no matter what, and His love for us does not change depending on our performance, good or bad. If we can hold onto this truth, and see ourselves how God sees us- beautiful, worth dying for, whole, then we will not judge our worth by what other people think about us.

How do you deal with rejection?

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