Woman looking stressed

When singleness is hard…

So a while ago, I wrote an article called ‘The purpose-driven single’. I was 26 years old, loving God, learning a lot and confident that I would be married anytime soon. Fast forward five years, and on the one hand, a lot has changed. On the other hand, not much has. I still don’t like to hear people bemoaning the fact that they are single. I love to give advice. That’s part of the reason I wrote that article. Find your purpose. Serve God faithfully. Wait patiently. God is enough. More than enough. Marriage won’t make you happy.

I meant what I wrote.

But I didn’t realise that I would go through quite a bit of testing over the next few years to see how much I meant what I wrote.

Being single can be hard, really hard, when you feel like you’ve been waiting a long time for something that you were made to have.

For something that is supposedly good.

When you feel like you’ve tried to honour God by trusting Him and waiting for His best, and His timing.

God is enough, yes, but why doesn’t it always feel like that?

There’s so much to be thankful for, yes, but why does it feel like there’s still something missing?

I don’t have all the answers. But, personally, I came to a point in my life where I knew that I had to make a choice. I was either going to just go for it in my walk with God, whether or not I ever got married, or I could spend the rest of  my life wanting and waiting. I was either going to be fully in, or just opt out.

After a really hard breakup, I made my decision. I couldn’t afford to hinge my happiness on an imaginary man that might never show up, or one that would disappoint me in the future, whether or not he was ‘the one’.

I felt like God was saying to me, ‘how long are you going to keep doing this, going round and round in circles, breakup after breakup, waiting for a man to complete you and make you whole, when I’m right here, all that you need?’

It took that experience to help me come to the realisation that God was indeed enough, and the only one I could really put all my hope and trust in.

Sometimes, God allows those kinds of experiences to happen, for us to come to the same realisation.

So, even though I know it’s hard sometimes (or maybe even a lot of the time for some of you reading this), I pray you hold on, and just keep moving. I pray it will someday be a thing of the past for you, and you will get your heart’s desire.

But most of all, I pray that even if you don’t, you don’t settle for less, and miss out on life and all God has in store for you.

You can read more about issues and experience of other single Christians at SingleChristians.co.uk

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