AI and online dating: The Christian Connection Guide to understanding the new technology

AI and online dating: The Christian Connection Guide to understanding the new technology

AI, or Artificial Intelligence, is big news right now. You may have heard of AI being used to generate music, art, stories and videos. Some actors, writers, and artists are going on strike to prevent being replaced by AI versions of themselves. Public figures and politicians now have to deal with ‘deep fake’ versions that look and sound very similar to them appearing online. But did you know that AI is also something to be aware of when it comes to meeting online? Here’s the Christian Connection guide to what you need to know about AI and online dating.

This may be the first time you’ve considered AI, particularly as it relates to online dating. We are here to help you navigate this new world as AI technology becomes a part of everyday life. There’s no need to worry that you’re about to be matched with the Terminator when you sign in to your account. Skynet hasn’t started online dating just yet!

However, as new AI tools are released to the public, there is understandable curiosity and perhaps a desire to discover more. Some genuine daters may be using AI to spruce up their profiles or photos and, unfortunately, some who aren’t operating with good intentions are getting wise to using AI, too. Here’s our guide to what to watch out for when spotting AI use online.

AI in photos

AI and online dating: The Christian Connection Guide to understanding the new technologyPhotos are the most common place to see AI used online—and it’s usually used quite innocently. Many well-known social media apps now offer photo ‘filters’, which use AI to map someone’s face and change it slightly. This might be as simple as adding a pair of cat ears or as complex as giving someone a full face of perfectly applied makeup.

While most people don’t use AI filters to completely change their appearance, it’s common to ‘touch up’ a photo a little, removing blemishes or brightening a smile, for example. These are the kinds of adjustments professional photographers have always used for the images we see in magazines.

On Christian Connection, we don’t allow the use of AI or filters that completely change someone’s appearance. We carry out occasional ‘selfie’ checks and use other verification methods to help us make sure that photos on our site are accurate and authentic.

But how can you recognise an AI photo uploaded by a scammer or someone who might have something to hide? These kinds of images might be completely AI-generated images of people who don’t exist but can look quite convincingly human.

Some tips for spotting AI photos include:

  • Does their photo match their age and ethnicity? Scammers can get muddled and upload photos that don’t match the details in their profile.
  • Is it too perfect? AI photos often have slightly too smooth skin and rarely have blemishes or imperfections.
  • Check the fingers! AI is famous for struggling with fingers and adding one too many.
  • Are there words in the image? AI may muddle up words, meaning text might not make sense.
  • Look at light and shadows. Do these match up to the background lighting?
  • There’s just something ‘uncanny’ about it. One way to spot AI is to trust your gut. We humans can often tell by instinct if a photo isn’t real.
  • If you’re unsure about whether someone’s photo is genuine, check whether they have more than one. It’s much harder for standard AI programs to produce two images of the same person. Having multiple photos in different settings makes it more likely they are real.
  • You can also try using Google’s reverse image search or an image-checking program to see if the photo appears elsewhere on the internet.

Read our article ‘What kind of photos should I add to my profile?‘ for more helpful information. If you feel concerned about a photo you see on the site or app, get in touch with us at so we can look into this for you.

AI in messages and profiles

AI and online dating: The Christian Connection Guide to understanding the new technologyFor those who struggle with the written word or want to make an impression with a unique message, it can be tempting to turn to AI text generators for help. Typing in ‘write me a dating profile’ will generate a message with perfect grammar and spelling. But one thing AI can’t do is imitate all the unique qualities that make you you.

While using an AI tool to check your spelling is fine, on Christian Connection, we expect all profiles to be written in our members’ own words. Someone who isn’t a genuine dater might also try to use an AI platform to write their profiles and even their messages for them. Here’s what to look out for if you’re checking if someone is real.

  • Be creative in your conversation topics. Asking unusual questions will often stump an AI, resulting in a very odd-sounding answer.
  • Do you feel like you’re reading an essay? AI may answer questions in a very literal and longwinded way, making several points and coming to a conclusion at the end.
  • Does it sound too formal? AI isn’t very good at sounding casual and conversational, in the way that most people do when chatting.
  • Does it make sense? AI-generated text might make mistakes, like saying it’s snowing when it’s a sunny day, or contradicting itself.
  • Check their shorter messages. Short messages may be written without AI and so might contain spelling errors or a strangely different writing style from the rest of the text.
  • Do they ‘sound’ human? This is where it comes down to your gut feeling. AI text almost always feels slightly unnatural, and actual humans can pick up on that.

Don’t forget that you can always get in touch with us if you’re concerned about anything you experience while using Christian Connection.

AI and messages on other platforms

If you’ve switched to chat on another platform and find yourself getting strange replies, you might wonder if you’re talking to a bot. These are a form of AI designed to hold a conversation with a person and can be used in legitimate ways, for example, by businesses to send simple information to customers in live chat responses.

As with messages in general, one of the best ways to spot bots is to ask creative questions. One typical test is the ‘Potato’ check—asking the other person to simply say’ potato’. A bot programmed to chat with you may not be able to answer this request.

Other questions bots struggle to answer include asking them what they think about a journey you plan to take: they will often give you facts and statistics rather than an opinion. Asking for opinions on other things can let you know if they sound human or if they are just regurgitating information drawn from existing web pages.

And, for anyone you meet on Christian Connection, asking deep questions about someone’s faith is likely to be welcomed by someone genuine but will completely confuse a bot.

AI in video and audio chats

AI and online dating: The Christian Connection Guide to understanding the new technologyIt’s still very rare, but yes, AI can even be used when you’ve arranged to speak via video chat. Thankfully, this is still so unusual that an incidence has never been reported to us on Christian Connection, but here’s what to look out for:

  • In AI-altered videos, the person you’re talking to cannot get up and walk about – they must stay facing the camera. So ask someone to stand up and move if you’re feeling unsure.
  • Live audio and video in which someone is disguising themselves usually looks or sounds glitchy.

Self-consciousness might be behind someone’s decision to try and disguise themselves with AI, but unfortunately, there may be people using the technology to trick or mislead someone into trusting them or to hide their true location, voice or appearance. If you encounter anything that concerns you, please do get in touch with us.

How to navigate AI and online dating

AI is here to stay, and learning how to spot it is the first step in understanding how the new technology is used and keeping yourself safe.

The Christian Connection team are here to help, too. Our stringent security systems pick up most ‘fakes’ and remove them right away. If you’re ever unsure about someone you’re talking to, our team can look into it and provide verification checks. Overall, it’s still very rare for AI to be used on our site.

When you’ve been messaging someone and want to get to know them better, arrange to meet in person as soon as you feel comfortable doing so. AI can’t show up at a coffee shop! In-person meets are the best way to find out if you ‘click’ with someone, as well as making sure they’re genuine.

Always follow our safety advice when it comes to online dating. While AI could be used by people with hostile intentions, you can be equipped to spot these attempts and act wisely. It’s essential to remember this when you date online: never give out financial details, and report anyone who asks you for money straight away, no matter what reason they give.

As a founding member of the Online Dating and Discovery Association, we are committed to providing all our members with a safe and secure dating environment. If you want more information on having a safe and enjoyable dating experience, read the Date Safe Guide from the Online Dating and Discovery Association to help ensure your experience with online dating goes as well as possible.

Our most important advice is to always be authentic yourself. It’s tempting to use AI to fix blemishes and improve your spelling, but if you’re the ‘real you’ online you’re most likely to meet someone who is also being genuine. Our human quirks and individuality are often the thing that others fall in love with. No AI system will ever match that.

About this Blog

Christian Connection is an award-winning Christian dating website in the UK, Ireland, Australia, New Zealand, Singapore, USA and Canada.

Since the UK launch in 2000, thousands of Christians have found friendship, love and marriage through the site.

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