Author Archives: Hannah Grace

Once dating starts to get a little more serious, there are stepping stones to integrate two different lives. Often one of the first of these is the meeting of each other’s friends. Friends can make or break a relationship, especially if their opinion sways you. Meeting your new partner’s friends can be very nerve-wracking, so what should you consider? How can you continue to value friends as you date? And what might be going on under the surface, with your friends or theirs?

How can dating stay fresh? Instead of getting stuck in a rut, whether going on first dates or keeping dating alive in a long term relationship, look for date ideas with imagination. Doing the same old things, going to the same places, ordering the same takeaways, going on the same walks can be an easy habit to fall into – even if meeting someone for the first time and relying on an ‘old favourite’ instead of a new idea – but maybe it’s time to mix it up a bit! Give your dating life a refresh with some simple changes.

There’s only so much “It’ll happen at the right time”, “You just haven’t met the one”, “Don’t give up”, or “God’s timing is perfect” you can take before it starts to get old! The worst is “Why are you still single, you’re such a good catch?” – the most infuriating question that used to sting me when I got asked, kicking me when I was down. How can you remain godly in your search for a Christian, staying true to what the Bible says about looking for a Christian partner, without compromising when you want to pack it all in, throw in the towel and stop the feelings of loneliness?

We probably all grew up with an expectation of what the perfect relationship would look like. Romantic movies, adverts on television, books and our own imaginations help to create the idea of the ideal partner and the model relationship. Couples that look like they have it so ‘together’. This can be heightened when single. It is hard when you first start dating someone and reality kicks in! You are excited, the butterflies start fluttering, you start thinking about the future and can be desperate to impress. But not every moment will be wonderful and we need to think about expectation vs reality. Even in small ways, expectations are not met, and hard conversations can be needed to make a successful, happy relationship. How can you balance your expectations and not let yourself be disappointed by reality?

A new year is a time for fresh starts, the hopeful possibilities of good that a new year can bring and sometimes new resolutions. There is an excitement and anticipation of what the new year can bring – a bubbling energy is expectant for what God has in store for you. A fresh year maybe to find a life partner? Meet someone new? How can you find your dating energy in the new year, especially if it feels like you’re starting yet another year of being single?

Winter was a time when I felt my singleness profoundly. It seemed the romance of Christmas was everywhere, with romantic Christmas movies, dates to Christmas markets and ice rinks, cosy hot chocolates and mistletoe – and I wasn’t included. Once the romance of Christmas was over, there was the pressure of New Year. All the resolutions, the desire to find a partner that very year, the realisation that another year would begin without a kiss at midnight. One question came up repeatedly: How could I find contentment in singleness during the festive season?

How often do we hear – or say – “I’m not going to change for anyone”, “I am who I am”, or “This is me and if you can’t deal with me, move on”? The idea of making changes to ourselves can feel like compromise – but should it? How does this work when dating – are we expected to change for someone? Should they change for us? Or can we remain exactly as we are, no matter what?

It’s possible to become a confident dater. It might take time, effort and practice, especially if you are an introvert, shy, or struggle in situations out of your comfort zone but it can be done. Dating has its highs and lows, and sometimes your confidence can be knocked, by a rejection, ghosting, or harsh words but it’s possible to bounce back.