Last Friday I found myself, unusually, with nothing to do. It’s a rare treat in a busy London life, but the thought did flit through my mind ‘I wonder if anyone wants to come over…’ I couldn’t really be bothered to come up with a plan, though, so I just stayed in and watched TV.
During the week I heard from a friend that both she and someone else in our church had been home alone and thinking much the same. If only we’d said something…
So why didn’t we?
Mental illness affects every part of a person’s life; it can be tricky to decide you’re ready for dating and it can be even harder to know when and how to tell a potential partner that you have a mental illness. Whether you consider yourself fully recovered, recovering or if you remain ill, it’s up to you the language you use but I would say it’s important you’re comfortable with yourself and your history before you consider inviting someone else to share your life. Even if you feel your illness is completely behind you, if you have a susceptibility, it may come back, and both you and your partner need to consider the impact it may have on both of you – this subject doesn’t need to be doom and gloom, it’s just another thing to consider alongside others such as children, money and living arrangements.
Part of knowing God’s will is knowing His timing for events in our lives. There is a time for everything and a season for every activity under the heavens (Ecclesiastes 3 v 1). Verse 11 states, ‘He has made everything beautiful in its time.’ God operates outside of time as we know it, and He hardly does things according to our schedule. If we can grasp and accept this ultimate truth, I believe our stress and frustration levels would drop significantly. He knows the best time for things to happen in our lives and if we allow Him, He will make things beautiful.
A few weeks ago I received this email in response to a post I’d written.
I came across your blog post titled ‘The Power of Your Authenticity’ and I was really blessed by it. I need your advice: I recently met a lady and she’s not opening up to me. I understand she wants to take things slow and build a good friendship with me first but it’s really difficult to get through to her. How can I get her to share and be more open about her thoughts with me?
If you don’t have authenticity you don’t have relationship. You’re not in a real relationship with someone if you’re not honest, open and vulnerable; because they’re not in relationship with you – they’re just in relationship with a shallow projection of you.
Prayer should be a key part of the life of any Christian. As children of God, we must believe that God is interested in every little detail of our lives, marriage included (even though I wouldn’t call it little!)
As I write this, I’m preparing to host a dating workshop for young adults with cancer. This isn’t my usual audience and I’m rather daunted by the prospect. But I’m also clear on what I’m going to say: that anyone who is looking for love can benefit from solid foundations, a strong inner anchor, healthy self-esteem, emotional resilience, a good dose of trust and bags of faith.
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