So, why does deeper friendship matter?

Big decisions

A solid friendship is important for making big decisions. When a relationship starts getting serious, you might need to make some big decisions. For example, moving home locations, changing jobs, or deciding which church to attend (if you’re not already at the same church). Down the line, if you want to make a big decision that might affect both your lives, you need someone who truly gets you, who will be there to listen and understand, and support you, when others might question your judgment. A deeper friendship with your partner will be vital when you need someone to believe in you.

Walking through the valley

Secondly, a deeper friendship is important for those ‘valley’ moments of life. Relationships are easy when life is going great- you get the job you want, business is booming, everyone is in good health, and everything is smooth. But if you’re in a relationship with someone for long enough, one or both of you is bound to go through some tough times at some point. It could be the loss of a job, a health challenge, or something else. Having a deep friendship means that you can support each other through that season of hardship and be there for the other person when they truly need you.

Shared spiritual life

A deep friendship allows you to share your spiritual life with each other. There’s nothing quite like having someone in your life who you can share your faith with – areas you’re struggling with, things that God reveals to you as you read the Bible, new songs you’ve discovered, etc. Beyond that, having a deep friendship means that you can hold each other accountable when either of you might be struggling with your faith. You can pray for and with each other, read the Bible together, and learn about God from each other.

Greater understanding

A deeper friendship gives you access to someone else’s life in a way that you otherwise would not have access. For example, spending time together and with each other’s friends and families will allow you to gain a better understanding of your partner and why they are the way they are. From things as little as why they tell terrible jokes, to something more serious, like why they might struggle to show affection. Understanding them better means that you can think and pray about how you can be a better partner to them.

Greater closeness

A deeper friendship means that you get to learn about your partner’s private struggles and prayerfully help them through it. ‘Getting your hands dirty’ in a relationship means understanding their weaknesses and supporting them where you’re able to. It doesn’t mean that you have to be the one to ‘fix’ them, but open communication and some vulnerability can allow you to be there for them when they need you most.

Friendship as a foundation of a relationship is very important, but to really get to know someone, you need to go deeper with them in friendship. This means being open and honest with each other and being willing to be vulnerable. It can mean having uncomfortable or awkward conversations, and letting the other person into parts of your life you may want to otherwise keep private. But, if you’re able to do this with someone you truly care about, you will be on your way to creating a very strong foundation for your future relationship.

What are the important parts of friendship for you?

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