Author Archives: HopefulGirl

‘As a Christian, pornography disgusts me,’ said the email. ‘But I admit I quite enjoy reading sexy scenes in romantic books. I’ve even bought a book of erotic short stories. I don’t think it’s a big deal, but my boyfriend insists it’s “porn for women” and no different to him watching pornography. Has he got a point?’

‘Porn isn’t just a problem for men,’ said the email. ‘I’m female and I admit I sometimes look at porn. I don’t like myself much for it, but it’s so commonplace. Is it really such a big deal?’

‘Some Christians say masturbation is sinful and we must strive to conquer it,’ said the email. ‘Others consider it normal and natural. I have to admit, it helps me cope with sexual frustration. What’s your take on it, HopefulGirl?’

‘I’m ashamed to admit it, HopefulGirl, but I’m seriously struggling with celibacy and sexual frustration,’ said the message. ‘Churches never acknowledge this aspect of being a single Christian. Surely it’s not just me… is it?’

Last month, I shared my tips for dealing with a painful and unwelcome break-up. But for everyone who’s dumped, there’s someone doing the dumping – and with that comes responsibility. If you decide a relationship isn’t going anywhere and you’d be happier alone, you have every right to move on. But even if you’ve reached the point where you don’t even like the other person much and can’t wait to get shot of them, you can still treat them with dignity and kindness. In fact, being a Christian demands nothing less. (The exception is an abusive relationship. In that scenario, forget courtesy – just get out fast and don’t look back.) So if you’re planning to finish it, here are my top three dos and don’ts for a kinder break-up…

Most of us have been through a painful breakup at some point in our lives – maybe several times. Sometimes, the news that the person you’re dating wants to end the relationship comes as a bolt out of the blue. Other times, you know something’s not right and you get that sense of impending doom. Either way, when someone you’re in love with decides they don’t feel the same way, it’s a deeply painful experience, especially if you were hoping the relationship was leading to marriage.

‘My boyfriend and I have just got engaged – I’m madly in love with him and I believe God has told me he’s the one,’ said the Facebook message. How lovely! I got ready to offer my congratulations. She continued… ‘However, my friends and family think I’m making a big mistake. Should I listen to them or follow my own heart?’

Ah. Complicated. But many of us can relate to this dilemma.

Whether you think Valentine’s Day is a delightful celebration of love, or a cynical commercial affair, there’s nothing like all the hearts and flowers to remind you that you’re single. Don’t let it get you down – here are our top tips for enjoying the day…