As I write this, I’m preparing to host a dating workshop for young adults with cancer. This isn’t my usual audience and I’m rather daunted by the prospect. But I’m also clear on what I’m going to say: that anyone who is looking for love can benefit from solid foundations, a strong inner anchor, healthy self-esteem, emotional resilience, a good dose of trust and bags of faith.
One of the things I hear more than I would like to are stories from Christians who say how upsetting their experience of dating a Christian was. While it’s true that no-one is perfect, some dating decisions in church cause a lot of hurt and are unloving. We need to talk about it, and we need to: Say It Isn’t Okay, Tell God We’re Angry, and Talk About Wider Fulfilments.
If I hadn’t managed to open my rather closed heart and mind, I wouldn’t be getting married in June. When I first began to date my fiancé, I found all manner of things about him to judge and criticise. I’d done the same with boyfriends in the past. If I’d have continued like that, I’d still be alone.
Dating can be amazing, but it can also be confusing too. While some men are happy to ask for help and talk about the difficulties, some aren’t. But I do think there are 3 principles we can follow, (no matter what our gender is,) to help us date better. Namely: 1. We Don’t Need To Be Perfect, 2. Control Doesn’t Work, and 3. Everyone Needs To Learn This Stuff.
There are a number of topics and life choices that commonly influence whether daters deem other daters to be a suitable potential spouse. For some, these deal-breakers – or showstoppers – are personal or even completely unique. At first, you might think you don’t have any… Until you begin dating and realise that there are in fact some areas in which you just can’t, or won’t compromise.
“I just knew she was the one for me.” “I knew the first time we met that we’d get married.” “It was love at first sight.” It must be wonderful to feel so certain about one of life’s biggest decisions. But what if you never feel sure? What if no potential partner feels entirely right?
Modern dating happens so fast. We rule people out online before we’ve even met them or we check to see if anyone new has liked our profile on the way home from a date. At this hectic pace, how do we decide whether to see someone again after a first encounter or move on to the next?
Valentine’s Day is a special day for lonely hearts to express their interest in someone, and for couples to celebrate their love. Most of us enjoy an excuse for a bit of romance. But what if you’re in the early stages of a relationship, or you’ve only been on a few dates and don’t yet know where it’s going? Awkward.